MSG

I'm frequenting a new movie store. It's actually not new, it's rather old, but I abandoned ship for awhile when the new and shiny Blockbuster dropped into the neighbourhood (that and my sister managed to accrue some serious fines at the little shop and I was scared to show my face for fear they'd take my thumbs...)

But there's a statute of limitations on movie fines, and Orange and I tested the waters some weeks ago. We haven't looked back since.

Some things to note:

1. The place smells like gyro (because of the gyro store next door.)
2. They still rent VHS. Hundreds of them.
3. They sell penny candy.
4. You can buy used movie posters from the old-new movies they once rented and advertised, and they're kept rolled up in a cardboard box next to the door.
5. They have groovy movie categories besides the cliche "drama" and "comedy" including "special interest" and "cult favorites".

The best part? The dude who runs/owns the place is priceless... He's exactly what you want in a corner store movie guy. A long haired emo dude who really couldn't give two craps what you're renting or what you're looking for. He answers your questions and gets your movies together and rings out the receipts, but is otherwise uninterested in everything about you.

"Do you have the new Russell Peter's movie?"
"Last aisle, third shelf down on the right, fifth movie in."
"Thanks..."
*glare*

"Have you seen this?"
"No."

"Thanks very much. This is great!"
"Yup."

He strikes me as someone who ironically wouldn't watch movies either for political reasons or because he's choosing to take a stand against "the machine". He probably prefers to read and talk quietly over double shot espressos about Obama and capitalism and genetically modified foods.

I'm determined to get him to like me. It's weird. Every time I go in I aim to make him smile. So far, zero success. But I'll keep you posted. Perhaps a regular update? My success with the movie store guy? MSG? Gold.

FYI: Event Horizon is some scary sh*t.

Awkward.

Orange and I got into a uncomfortable discussion about cats tonight.

While he's warming to Bertimus Maximus, he has concerns about my level of enthusiasm for all things "kitty". His fears stem from my excitement over the newly advertised Wear Him Off, Keyboard Cat t-shirts (FYI, if you're not familiar with Keyboard Cat, check out my addictions links... Priceless...)

*wanders off to watch the latest Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat videos*

But I digress..

I may also have mentioned my interest in attaining a Kit-Cat clock. For obvious reasons... Namely, monsieur Kit-Cat clock's disturbing likeness to that of monsieur Bert. And while I have no plans to frantically comb eBay or Kijiji for the latest Kit-Cat clock uploads, I'd purchase one at the 400 Market Flea Market if/when we stop there again. He seemed to think my collection of "cat things" was growing, citing my cat magnets, Faux Gary, and Sarajevo tee that may or may not have a cat on it.

He said he was worried I was going to be one of those people who surfed the Internet looking for cute cat pictures (does CuteOverload count?), commenting on cat blogs (I Can Has Cheeseburger and Stuff on my Cat?) and asking other people for cat advice (omg it was one time...)

He considered this.

"What I meant was, as long as it's not a regular thing, it's okay..."
"Is 'daily' too regular?"
"Well, what I mean is, as long as it's not a habit, it's okay..."
"What if I said I once entered Bert in an online cat contest?"

He considered this.

"This is weird..." he said.
"I feel dirty" I said.

We agreed not to talk about my online habits. And I agreed if I purchased my Wear Him Off, Keyboard Cat t-shirt I'd only wear it when he wasn't around.

*pfft*

Prude.

This is seriously something I would consider doing...

How fun are these people? The guy who walks on his hands is by far my favorite. I love his serious expression. Clearly someone dedicated to his craft.

p.s. Is this the largest wedding party every?
p.p.s. I wouldn't use a sh*tty Chris Brown song...

I had dinner with mom and dad last night...

*shakes head*

Dear me. I love them to pieces, but they're too funny for words. The word 'routine' doesn't begin to describe it. It's clockwork...

---

We had BBQ'd hamburgers. I'd say, in nice weather, Dad likes to BBQ at least once a week. We usually have one of three things: hamburgers, steak, or chicken. And every night we BBQ we go through the same routine:

At 5:30, after we've cut up the veg and scooped the coleslaw into something nice, and put the condiments in tiny bowls with little spoons (don't ask...) mom calls up to dad "P, do you want to start the BBQ?" to which dad replies "In a minute."

Dad eventually makes his way down stairs, looks at the hamburgers and reshapes them. Mom says "P, I already did that" to which dad replies "I know that... But that's not how they should be!" to which mom replies "don't forget to flatten them on the grill because Library Lady and I don't like our hamburgers too big" to which dad replies "I know dear..." finishing with an eye roll.

At 5:45 when dad puts the burgers on the grill mom bellows out the door "P, do you want your bun toasted?" (no he doesn't) to which dad replies (surprise surprise) "No thanks." Mom then walks to the kitchen, quickly turning around... "Do you want cheese, P?" (yes he does) to which dad replies "Yes, thank you."

At 5:50 when mom's getting fussy about the corn, because naturally the corn is ready and mom is hungry, she'll bellow out the door again "P, how much longer?" (maybe 5 minutes?) to which dad replies (naturally) "I dunno, four or five minutes?"

At 5:55 mom starts to pace. "How much longer is he going to be?" she asks. "We've had dinner at 6:00 every year of my life. I'd say they're almost ready." And while mom is making her way to the door to yell at dad "How much longer?" she'll note he's already making his way up the stairs.

"Did you flip the foil on the plate so you weren't putting the cooked burgers on the same foil as the raw meat?" to which dad replies "Yes dear..." followed by further eye rolls.

Mom will dish out the burgers. Dad will make chocolate milk. And when we sit down and say grace and dig in, mom will turn to dad and say "Great burgers, P. You did a great job."

And dad will puff up.

---

Love it. They are too good to be true.

Some things I did this weekend:

1. Purchased cat food.
2. Made pita pizzas.
3. Worked.
4. Bought Tootsie Pops en masse.
5. Made a baby giggle.
6. Wished on a star.
7. Drank warm beer.
8. Cuddled. Bert.
9. Binged on breakfast.
10. Went 'antiquing' with me-moms.
11. Played the open house game...
12. Washed umpteen piles of clothes.
13. Walked the stairs. Again. And again. And again.
14. Loafed.
15. Tried to watch Twilight. Ugh.

Wow. This is officially a super, duper, boring post.

My apologies.

*sigh*

Got up super early this morning and did a few rounds of the stairs....

For those of you unfamiliar with my neighborhood, I live in the valley of an escarpment and there are varying sets of stairs across the city to allow pedestrians to easily access what we commonly refer to as "the mountain". I live about six blocks from a set and I like to try and do 'em every once and awhile.

There are 317 stairs in total and I know this because someone has kindly numbered each and every step. This particular set also gradually ascends to about an 80 degree angle, which makes the last 100 steps murder (not to mention the descent, when your legs go all wobbly doodles...)

So there I am at 6:30 am in my sweatpants and my new 20-minute-challenge Running Room hat, making my way up the stairs. It's finally getting hot in the So'oh, so I'm all sticky and sweating my cheeks off (literally...) My t-shirt is sticking to me, and conveniently I've forgotten my Kleenex (Mother Nature hates me this time of year and my allergies are out in full force.)

Needless to say I was a big 'ole hot mess. But I did them. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Three times quickly. And the best part? I listened to this song the entire way down that last time:

"Jump in the line, rock your body in time..."

Gold.

How many times have I done this at the Post Office? Ridiculous.



"I was here on Wednesday, and there was also a line..."

Awkward is...

... Making a 10:00 pm one-stop-shop at Shoppers Drug Mart, and finding yourself in line behind a teenaged boy buying a pregnancy test.

Eee.

No more counting sheep!

Let's give a big "hey yah!" to Fingers and BSB for delivering my new bed yesterday!

W00t! W00t!

I slept so darn good (how's the for English?) I dreamt through my alarm, and at 8:30 was running around the apartment like a chicken with my head cut off. Bert continued to slumber on the bed, mind you. He gives the whole thing 4, gigantically squishy paws up. I'm pleased I no longer sleep in a crevasse and will ward of scoliosis for the next year or two.

Fingers, BSB: your payment arrives Saturday...

Fine.

I didn't want to play with you anyway.

Poo.

13 strange things you'll see on the way to Ontario cottage country:

1. Multiple wax candle outlets.
2. The 'Dock in a Box' store--did it come before the J.T. and Samburg SNL skit?
3. A line up approximately 1km long outside the Mandarin Chinese buffet restaurant in Barrie.
4. A condemned hotel and joint restaurant with the sign "WARNING: this building is condemned and is being torn down. Stay out." Not so weird? True. But the fact this sign has been there since the early 1970s? Kinda of weird.
5. The Big Curve Farm--home to every imaginable animal on the sun, all of whom are romping together in the same big field.
6. Two giant 24-7 Candy Shoppes.
7. What Orange refers to as the "Dick Boat" store, specializing in oddly named monster boats (like "Rock Hit Ship"... get it?)
8. A burger shop that gets so redonk busy with cottage country traffic they've built a walking overpass across the 400 N to avoid car accidents and traffic jams.
9. A used golf cart outlet.
10. A store specializing in neon plug-in palm trees.
11. The always familiar and exciting Highway Recyclers, which still narrowly manages to avoid spilling out onto the road.
12. Camp Hillbilly, whose 'luxury camp sites' boarder a major highway. Who's staying here?
13. A porn shop.

No, no... I know the word...

Happy Ka-Na-Da Day, peeps!